I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
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