well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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