How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
YAS. BRING CRAB.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
