i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
