trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
