P.S. I can't hear my feet
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
