Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize