bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
