hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
