oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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