I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
