I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
