Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
