I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
