i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize