It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
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