i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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