Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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