R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
