I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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