What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
