I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
