I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
time to smoke my breakfast
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
