Already got asked if we're dating
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Im part way to drunk.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize