im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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