ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
it's great music for shaving your balls
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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