i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize