69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
