Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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