thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
