She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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