Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
