Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
