It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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