sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
All I want is dick and wine.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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