I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
