forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
should my penis look like a turkey
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
