I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Congratulations! We have a period
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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