the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
