hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
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