Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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