If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
