Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
