the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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