I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
