I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize