She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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