So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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