Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
