whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I met the friendliest cop last night
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
