She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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