i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
