all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
