He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
