This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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