What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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