girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
