if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
