I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
